Let's Go
by JamiW
Summary: Companion piece to "A Normal Life" - To the Boy in the Blue Knit Cap post-ep


**Alex POV**

* * *

><p>I was expecting it, but I wasn't.<p>

I mean, I knew we were heading in this direction, but for some reason, I thought it would take a whole lot longer for him to actually say the words.

And it needed to be him saying the words.

That's what would tell me for sure that he was ready.

All I could do was subtly let him know that I was interested.

And for the past couple of months, ever since we went back to Major Case, I'd been doing just that.

Or at least, that's what I thought I was doing.

Who knows?

Maybe it's been so long since I'd attempted to gain the attention of a man that I've forgotten how it's done.

I worried about that after this last case, about the fact that maybe I just didn't _have_ _it_ anymore.

All the talk about true love and kismet…if that didn't get him thinking, then I didn't know what would.

Yesterday afternoon, we arrested Danielle and after we took care of the paperwork, I told Bobby that I'd see him Monday.

And then I spent my Saturday night thinking about him.

Was I really just wasting my time?

I couldn't be any more obvious.

I'd mentioned my need for the dating website.

I'd blocked the offer from the obnoxious woman at the Swan Club.

I'd even tried to tease him a little, offering up a childhood memory of how my then-boyfriend had dumped me.

"_Not for being ordinary_," he'd replied immediately, and it was crazy how the warmth flooded through me at his remark.

"_For kissing Nick Farrell on the playground_," I explained.

"_Ooh, lucky Nicky_," he'd joked.

As juvenile as it sounds, I spent that entire night wondering what he meant by that.

Lucky…as in…he wished it had been him?

Or was he just spouting off an appropriate response to my boring trek down memory lane?

And he never really said anything else after that, so…it was very frustrating.

But I knew he'd been struggling lately, dealing with the issues that he was discussing with his shrink. She was digging deeper than he'd allowed anyone to go before, and I was happy that he seemed to be truly making an effort.

I mean, he and I talked about those kinds of things. His father, his mother, his brother…incidents that he felt had made him who he is.

But I listened with the ear of a friend, not a therapist.

And if she could help him feel better about himself and recognize the fact that he deserved more than he was currently allowing himself to have, then more power to her.

I just hoped that when it worked, and he _made_ that realization, that _I _was the one he wanted.

Saturday night, I wasn't sure.

So Sunday morning, I decided to take things a step further.

I knew he had an appointment with Dr. Gyson, and it was supposed to be his last session. He'd told me that he wasn't sure if she was going to sign off on him or not. The funny thing was that he didn't seem all that worried about it.

I mean, he _was_, but not like I would've expected.

But I was worried for him, because I couldn't imagine what our lives would be like if he wasn't able to continue working by my side.

I didn't want to imagine it.

So I decided to wait for him outside of her office.

And then I shamelessly spent extra time on my hair and make-up, and dressed in something that I thought he might like.

I hadn't felt this much like a girl in a long time, but I wanted to make a statement.

I wanted him to see me as a woman, not just as his partner.

Because if things didn't go well with Gyson, he might not _be_ my partner for much longer.

I felt slightly nauseous at the prospect but at the same time, I had to believe that partners or not, we'd still be in each other's lives.

I drove to Gyson's office and found a place to park right out front.

And that's when I got nervous.

What if he wasn't happy to see me?

How was I supposed to explain away my presence if he felt like I was violating his privacy by staking out his shrink's office?

Although he'd picked me up from therapy before. More than once. So he couldn't exactly get mad, could he?

While I battled with myself over whether or not I should go home, I got the call about a DOA at a bank on W. 44th.

Perfect.

I was too fidgety to keep waiting in the car, so I got out and stood on the sidewalk. And then I had to laugh at myself for picking up Bobby's habit of being unable to sit still.

Maybe I was just restless because I was really hoping things would be different today.

Had he thought about things as much as I did last night?

It seemed like all of our cases lately were subliminal messages...suspects and victims who were lonely and absorbed in their jobs, sacrificing a home life for their careers…yearning for what they wanted but couldn't have…

Or maybe it was just that I was reading too much into everything.

Maybe I was so ready to change the parameters of my relationship with Bobby that I was seeing signs everywhere.

I heard Gyson's exterior door open, and I looked up to see Bobby walking out, pulling the door closed behind him.

And when he turned to see me standing on the sidewalk…I don't know. I can't explain it, but the way he looked at me made my stomach do flips, and my palms got sweaty, and I couldn't take in a good breath.

And I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

I watched him walk down the steps, and he continued to stare at me with this expression that was part curiosity, part amazement, and part pleasure.

I think it's that last part that had my insides fluttering.

He was definitely happy to see me.

"Alex," he said as he walked closer.

Alex?

What kind of therapy was Gyson doing with him?

"So, how'd it go?" I asked, choosing not to embarrass him by questioning his nearly-inaugural use of my first name.

"Good," he replied.

He sounded casual, but maybe that was just because he was still trying to figure out why I was out here waiting for him.

And maybe _he_ could be casual about it, but I was relieved.

Good meant that we were still partners.

And _that_ meant a lot.

"Good," I repeated.

His gaze was still locked on mine and I couldn't help but feel like he was studying me…analyzing me…maybe really seeing me for the first time.

But was that a good thing or a bad thing?

I wasn't sure, so I fell back on my handy excuse for being here.

"Uh…call came in…DOA in a bank on W. 44th Street," I told him. "The feds are already on their way, but I thought we might want to…"

"Get there first."

We both smiled as we said the words together, and then we just stood there, still looking at each other, and I started having flashbacks to high school because it seemed like both of us wanted to say something more, but neither of us knew how to say it.

Well, _I_ knew how to say it.

I just wasn't going to do it.

Like I said, I needed him to be ready.

And it surprised me, and scared me maybe a little, that it seemed like he was about there.

I paused a moment longer, waiting to see what he would do, but when he stayed silent, I finally turned and got into the SUV.

I mean, we couldn't very well just stand on the sidewalk and gaze at each other all day.

Not that I'd _mind_.

I mean, he's pretty nice to look at.

_Very_ nice.

But still…

So I got in and closed the door and then looked up and he was _still_ standing there.

Never have I seen him so…immobile. Not unless he was thinking about a case, and even then, some part of him was usually moving.

We watched each other, in this bizarre little bubble we seemed to be in, until he finally dropped his gaze and walked slowly around the front of the car.

And now he seemed…disappointed.

Was he hoping that I'd be the one to say something?

Or was I completely wrong about the whole situation?

Maybe he was just upset that I was dragging him off to a crime scene on a Sunday.

I watched him get in, and then waited for him to look at me. Because I had to know if that was it. If he didn't want to jump in on this case, then we didn't have to go.

After all, I'd just latched onto it as a reason for being here anyway.

Hannah might not even want us there.

But then he smiled at me, just a little half smile that managed to make him look mischievous and sexy at the same time, and he said, "Let's go."

I wanted to ask where because I somehow got the feeling that he wasn't just talking about the crime scene, but then I decided that it didn't really matter.

I'd go anywhere with him.

So I just smiled and started up the car. We drove a mile or so in silence, and that wasn't unusual for us, but he seemed like he wanted to say something and since that something was making him nervous, I really wanted to hear what it was, so I broke the ice with harmless chatter.

"So, how'd you end it with Gyson?"

I was only slightly surprised to learn that he was going to keep seeing her, and it made me happy to know that he was interested in continuing to get help.

The old Bobby would've run out of that last session and never looked back.

"So she's helping," I remarked. "That's a good thing."

"Yeah, she said that…I…have a chance at a normal life. If I work on it."

I could feel his eyes on me as he made the statement, like it was important to him to see my reaction.

Another good sign. Not only did he want a normal life, but he also wanted to know whether or not I thought he could have one.

To me, that wasn't the question. The only question was whether or not he wanted to have one with _me_.

"Of course you do," I answered. "You thought you didn't?"

"I wasn't sure," he admitted.

"Bobby, the only thing holding you back from a normal life is you," I said, and then, because I wanted to prod him a little, because there was a certain energy in the car and for some reason I felt like _this_ was our moment and if we let this one get away then who knew how long it would be before another one came around, I added, "If you want something, go after it. Don't keep denying yourself because you think you don't deserve it."

I could feel his eyes on me and I could almost hear him thinking and I wondered how it had ever gotten to be so hard for him to take the first step towards something personal.

And then I kind of felt bad that I was making him do it, so I almost rescued him.

I almost bit the bullet and asked him out myself. But before I could say the words, he spoke up.

"So…what would say if…I asked you to dinner?"

It was almost hypothetical.

Safe.

Ambiguous.

I needed more from him.

"I'd say great, because I missed lunch and by the time we finish at the bank, I'm going to be starving," I replied casually, hoping that my apparent misconception wasn't going to scare him away.

_Come on, Bobby._

"Alex…that's not exactly what I meant."

I stopped the car at a red light and turned to look at him. I raised an eyebrow at him, hoping he would elaborate, but instead he dropped his focus to the center console, so I said, "That's twice in twenty minutes."

I knew that changing the flow of the conversation would help him forget about being nervous. When he's unsure about something, he can't resist solving the mystery.

And he didn't disappoint. He brought his eyes back to mine and asked, "What?"

The fluttering was back in my stomach and my hands felt clammy where I was gripping the steering wheel.

"You called me Alex," I explained. "You hardly ever do that."

_Throw me a bone, Bobby and we'll work through this together. I just need to be sure._

"Maybe I need to start doing it more often. Like…when we go out to dinner."

And there it was.

I couldn't help but smile when I asked, "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Yes."

Finally!

"Okay," I answered calmly, as though I wasn't doing cartwheels on the inside.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

And suddenly we were back on track.

We teased and bantered for the next several miles. We were almost to the crime scene when he made a point of telling me that he was going to pick me up for our date. It wasn't just going to be an after-work kind of thing.

"And you want this to be different," I said, loving that he was taking this so seriously.

I mean, I wanted to have fun with him, but I also wanted it to be something other than just an off-hours partnership.

"I…yeah. I want it to be different. I want us to be different. Only…not. Do you know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean," I said, and I was suddenly wishing that I hadn't mentioned this case at the bank.

I wished we could have our Sunday afternoon together, not working, and see where that got us.

Although maybe not because I wasn't sure if I could trust myself to be alone with him.

Because when had he started looking at me like I was on the menu?

And why did that have me fighting back the urge to vault over the console and kiss him senseless?

I found a place to park just outside of the crime scene tape, and one glance at Bobby told me that he was almost as disappointed to be going to work as I was.

Like maybe he thought that a few hours of reality would make me change my mind.

I didn't want him worrying about that.

And I definitely didn't want us backtracking.

So I reached across the console – instead of succumbing to my earlier urge to vault over it – and I touched him on the arm.

"We'll do this," I promised. "Tonight, or tomorrow night…as soon as we have time."

"Okay," he said, with the beginning of a smile. It was the same half smile he'd done when he first got in the car.

That same one that sends my hormones into overdrive.

But as much as I wanted to ravage him right here in the car, I also wanted to prove to him that we could do both.

We could try out this relationship and still work together and do our job well.

"Okay, so…are we going to check out this crime scene or what?" I asked as I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Let's go," he replied.

We got out of the car and headed for the yellow tape line, and as he reached in his pocket for his badge, I leaned closer and said, "You know, when you said that in the car earlier, I wasn't sure what you meant."

"By _let's go_?"

"Uh huh. Crime scene…your place…Vegas…"

He chuckled and clipped his badge onto his jacket.

"My place, huh?" he said with interest. "Would you have said yes?"

He held up the tape and I ducked underneath and then he followed behind me. I tapped my badge where it was clipped to my belt, showing it to the attending officer as we passed by.

"Alex?" he asked, a hint of a smile still playing on his lips.

"Would I have said yes?" I asked, repeating his question.

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, nodding his head, encouraging me to answer, so I did.

"To anywhere you want to go."

**The End**


End file.
